My First "F"

I think I was in 4th grade when I received my first “F” on a school assignment. I am a curious person by nature and have always loved to learn, so school was mostly a pleasure for me and the assignments of my elementary school classes were typically interesting and usually completed on time.

Except for the spring I turned 10 years old. Near to our rural K-5 school were fields tall with spring wildflowers and fuzzy grasses. We were each asked to bring a glass jar from home and into the bottom of the jars, our teacher carefully placed cotton balls soaked in some mysterious smelling chemical. With the lids screwed back on, we set out on our nature hike from the school parking lot.

Our assignment was to collect as many butterfly samples as we could that afternoon. After they stopped moving in our jars, we were to take them out and with tiny pins mount them on a piece of styrofoam. Identifying and labeling them was the final part of our mission.

But let’s be clear – our teacher was tasking us to kidnap and kill butterflies with our home-made death traps by invading their habitat.

How could I do it? I talked to the butterflies in our family’s garden all the time. I was convinced they were special messengers from God. Butterflies have incredible superpowers; they start out as masters-of-camouflage caterpillars and metamorphose into ephemeral flashy works of art.

My jar remained empty. I distanced myself from my friends. I wouldn’t show anyone my jar on the way back to school. We were supposed to complete the pinning and labeling as homework. I never turned in a project.

When my report card came out at the end of the school year a few weeks later, I was petrified to show my parents. After dinner, I sheepishly handed over the small brown envelope and waited. Mom and Dad read it, and Dad turned to ask me what happened? Why was there an “F” in science?

Mustering my bravery, I inhaled deeply and in a big rush with heavy, hot tears streaming down my face I blurted out the details of the murderous mission with which I had been charged by my teacher. Sniffling loudly, I waited for the wrath of my parents to descend upon me.

My father simply nodded his head in agreement with me and said something about why would anyone want to hurt any of God’s creatures? Especially the pretty ones. My mother smiled and simply walked into the kitchen to get more tea.

Eventually, I would learn to draw butterflies, label their parts, distinguish different species, and come to identify with the mythology of their archetype. Most importantly, I learned that my virtues, instilled and encouraged by my parents, are a central part of my identity. In those few minutes that warm June evening, my parents recognized and honored my aptitude for appreciating beauty in the world and affirmed my strengths of bravery, honesty, love, kindness, and spirituality.

The “F” on my report card is now fondly remembered as a story about how to re-frame failure. Sure, I failed to complete a fourth-grade science project. But I also learned that my values which lead me to honor and respect the rights of all creatures do not define me as a failure. On the contrary, my very humanity is built on both loving and being loved, being aware of the feelings of other souls, and being true to myself.

#iambutterflysarah

Meditatio

In Latin, “meditatio” is a noun that translates to “contemplation.” Research has not definitely pinpointed where in the world humans first started practicing intentional meditation as part of a culture’s spiritual traditions, but we have some evidence from India and China going back thousands of years. Many religions have an introspective ritual that encourages practitioners to reflect in silence to gain perspective on challenges in life. Secular practices encourage stillness and a focus on one’s breath.

The Beatles studied transcendental meditation in the 1960s. Jon Kabat-Zinn linked meditation to mindfulness for adults starting in the 1970s. I started practicing meditation in the 1980s and became a certified meditation teacher in 2019.

In today’s world, we have a variety of meditation techniques from which to choose; science has investigated the many health benefits of meditation across a range of physical and mental conditions. I encourage you to explore what works well for you.

Cracking the Geode

Recently, a client thanked me at the end of our session for following her many threads of thought during our conversation. My training as a coach allows me to hold space for many ideas while a client explores various possibilities. She likened my coaching as walking around a very large rock. Together, we explored a metaphor of her seeing the large rock as an obstacle in her way and her search for a path over or around it; and me seeing her obstacle as a geode and finding a crack to break it open to reveal a beautiful sparkly interior.

As we concluded her session, I was flooded with a childhood memory of my grandfather’s large amethyst geode. Growing up in Ontario, Canada, I was lucky to see many amethyst geodes and other cool crystals at local fairs and artisan studios. Amethyst is the official gemstone of the province. Many cultures regard amethyst as a stone of peace and believe that wearing amethyst calms and soothes us. One of my favorite necklace charms is a simple goddess shape inset with an amethyst and was gifted to me by a friend for my college graduation.

I started my virtual coaching practice as a way to help others lean into opportunity. By actively supporting you, using applied positive psychology techniques, I help you peek inside yourself and unlock the power of your shiny potential. I don’t judge and I don’t give advice. I follow your lead and together we create a way forward for you to create the life that you want.

Where do you want to be? What’s getting in your way? How can I help you reveal your best self?